Tomorrow I am going back to my another home in Taipei. And I probably won't go back to my parents' house for three months. It's always an ackward feeling between me and my family members. I feel like an outsider for quite a few years and i think they could feel it too. I've never been a responsible daughter, which mean taking well care of my parents. I leave the job to my older brother, who has difficulty going out of the city. I think the difficulty came from the fear he couldn't face the society, the gaint competitive world. That leads him to stay home and help me taking care of the parents. How my parents taught us caused the main reason why my brother was so fearful and isolated to the society. They are serious, strict, but also very preserved people. Me and my brother never had a chance to face the obstacles by ourselves. And we never learnt how to express love and affection to people. Luckily I couldn't stand it and leave home early. I learnt and changed my perspectives outside my family. Obviously it turns out I got a healthier mind than my brother. I learnt how to express myself, how to get what I wanted, how to face the society. My brother took the role to take care of my parents and unfortunately suffered some mental illness.
Now I don't say I was sorry to be obsent for my parents, and my parents wouldn't blame on me. I know they wouldn't. And that's the where the ackward situation come from. I hope my brother get well soon. Perhaps I can't change my parents, but one day I hope I could see some smiles from my brother's face.
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