一個人的醫院

昨天下午，我的感冒已經到了需要去看醫生的地步，請了假回到中和，隨便找了一下醫院就醫。在診療室外面，等了一段時間，一個人坐在外面的沙發，油然而生的孤獨感，就這樣無預警跑了出來。一個人生病、一個人走路、一個人找醫院、一個人承受這小小的寂靜。醫院裡其實沒有很多人，兩個外勞在看電視、櫃台裡一位小姐靜靜地打著電腦，整個醫院沒有人講話，只有外面的車隆隆地經過，報表列印聲，夾雜著鍵盤聲。如果，假若，也許有男朋友的話，現在會是什麼畫面? 想像是個很恐怖的心理作用，它會把一個人吸進黑洞裡。沒有人打斷我的思緒，我也只好繼續想像下去。如果，假若，也許有男朋有的話，他會騎著機車，翹了班，帶我到處找醫院，第一個進入診所報我的名字掛號，幫我拿皮包裡的健保卡，吩咐我坐下，坐在我的身邊牽著我，不發一語。這一切都是這麼自然地描繪出來，好像一切都有可能發生。就在此時，我的思緒終於被醫生叫名而打斷，是的，一個人還是要看病，life must go on。從診療室出來，心情輕鬆了許多，也許是因為終於找到一個人傾訴的心理作用吧。離開之前，藥包上清楚寫著”25歲又6個月”，又讓思緒陷入了更深的黑洞當中。
Categories: Encounter

I am not you

Because you gave me life, so I should live like you.
Because you gave me something you called love, I should be so grateful.
I can't complain, I can't doubt.
Only thing I need to know is follow your rules.

Did you know I am a different human being with you?
Did you know I have a soul, feelings and thoughts?
Did you know being living is so different with happy living.

If you assume I should be grateful to accept all you gave me,
If you assume I should follow every single step that you have failed,
If you want me to be you, if you think I am another you
If you take the power to decide where I should go,
Please take my life away. Please take my life away.
I would rather die, but being you in my whole life.





Categories: Reflections

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